My double "D" problem

This time of year I always get so excited about setting goals and making changes and becoming a better me. I start thinking about all the things I'd like to work on, improvements I'd like to make for myself and my family, new habits I'd like to start or bad habits I'd like to break. Then the discouragement always sets in. Where do I start? How can I ever be that person I would like to be?

I have a tendency to get depressed and/or discouraged easily. Depression is something that I have struggled with for most of my adult life. So in order to avoid feeling overwhelmed and/or discouraged, which oftentimes leads to feeling depressed, I sometimes don't bother to try to "fix" or even work on anything. Does that make sense? Better to not try and not fail then to try and fail. You can guess where this leads me, to feeling depressed and/or discouraged. It is a vicious cycle that I am attempting to break in my life.

My point in sharing all this? I don't know really. I just haven't blogged for so long I thought I would just start typing and this is what came to mind. I do feel that before the holidays, blogging was taking over my life so to speak. I really enjoyed meeting new bloggy friends and writing my blog nearly every day. It just seems that if I am not careful I can end up spending all day on the computer getting little else accomplished. This leads to my double"D" problem again. Depression and/or discouragement. So in order to avoid feeling that way I've been avoiding my computer nearly altogether.

I have set some goals for this year and feel that I am doing okay. I've been trying to get to bed earlier. I've been reading from the Book of Mormon every day. I've been trying to keep my house a little cleaner with the help of Flylady and her monthly new habits. This month's habit is shining your sink.

My big goal for the year is to find a healther, happier me. I started reading this book, "Losing It!" by Melanie Douglass, a few months ago. I really liked it, but it wasn't until December that I actually read the whole book and decided to follow her weight loss plan. I decided that I would start after the first of the year. Last Thursday, January 4th was my first day. I've been keeping track of what I eat and have been continuing to exercise. I've been real good about watching what I eat at breakfast and lunch and sort of for dinner. It wasn't until today that I actually kept track all day long and I stayed under my goal of 1500 calories for the day.

Of course, I have a German Chocolate cake sitting on my kitchen counter that I would really like to eat right now. It was my birthday on Saturday and yesterday I decided that I needed a birthday cake so I made one. (I enjoy celebrating my birth week. Why celebrate just one day when you can celebrate for a whole week?!)

So wish me luck (again) on my healthy living journey and if I don't blog or comment as much it is not because I don't love you.