Yesterday I had a doctor appointment. For the first time in many, many moons I was able to go all by myself without having to find someone to watch a child or two for me. It was amazing the feeling of sitting in the waiting room and the exam room and not worring about any little fingers touching anything. Granted it was just the eye doctor, so it wasn't like it would be that hard to have a child with me, but it was really nice to do it alone.
The weird part came when I was asked two separate times about where I worked. I gave them my usual response, I am a stay at home mom. Normally I have a child or two at my side when I give this answer and I feel quite confident about my response. This time I felt different, I almost felt guilty admitting that I don't have a job outside of my home. Why? Megan was at preschool and I would still be spending the majority of the day with her and caring for her. My bigger kids would be coming home from school later and I would be there to hug them and welcome them home. Why would I feel guilty not having a 'job'?
For so many years my days have been tied up in caring for my children and meeting their needs while attempting to take care of my house at the same time. I have enjoyed my reprieve from kids this fall, however small it has been, as all of my children are in school at the same time for small portions throughout the week. Does this mean that I am no longer needed at home or that I should find another 'job'? Neither of the people yesterday said anything about my response of being a stay at home mom, and frankly if they had I wouldn't care because it is not their business anyway. It was all me that put the guilt on myself for some crazy reason. Why?
I am grateful for the privilege that I have had of staying home with my kids. I know that for some mom's and families this is not an option for many different reasons. I am grateful that it has been an option for me and I have never felt guilty about not having a 'job' or contributing financially to our family. Until now.
I guess now that my kids are getting older they require less of me and perhaps there will come a time when I can get a "real job" and actually earn money. In some ways this both excites and terrifies me all at the same time. At least until my kids are older they still need looking after, like after school and during summer vacation. Besides, I want to be there for them when they get home from school to ask them about their day and to hear all the exciting stories of what happened that day. Not to mention that someone has to make sure they do their chores and get along with each other.
Yes, I am quite content in my job as wife, mother, chef, chauffeur, nurse, fun squisher, referee, tutor, task master, maid and general home manager.
The weird part came when I was asked two separate times about where I worked. I gave them my usual response, I am a stay at home mom. Normally I have a child or two at my side when I give this answer and I feel quite confident about my response. This time I felt different, I almost felt guilty admitting that I don't have a job outside of my home. Why? Megan was at preschool and I would still be spending the majority of the day with her and caring for her. My bigger kids would be coming home from school later and I would be there to hug them and welcome them home. Why would I feel guilty not having a 'job'?
For so many years my days have been tied up in caring for my children and meeting their needs while attempting to take care of my house at the same time. I have enjoyed my reprieve from kids this fall, however small it has been, as all of my children are in school at the same time for small portions throughout the week. Does this mean that I am no longer needed at home or that I should find another 'job'? Neither of the people yesterday said anything about my response of being a stay at home mom, and frankly if they had I wouldn't care because it is not their business anyway. It was all me that put the guilt on myself for some crazy reason. Why?
I am grateful for the privilege that I have had of staying home with my kids. I know that for some mom's and families this is not an option for many different reasons. I am grateful that it has been an option for me and I have never felt guilty about not having a 'job' or contributing financially to our family. Until now.
I guess now that my kids are getting older they require less of me and perhaps there will come a time when I can get a "real job" and actually earn money. In some ways this both excites and terrifies me all at the same time. At least until my kids are older they still need looking after, like after school and during summer vacation. Besides, I want to be there for them when they get home from school to ask them about their day and to hear all the exciting stories of what happened that day. Not to mention that someone has to make sure they do their chores and get along with each other.
Yes, I am quite content in my job as wife, mother, chef, chauffeur, nurse, fun squisher, referee, tutor, task master, maid and general home manager.
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Summer 2008 - Underground Thunderhead Falls
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12 people have something to say:
For me its nice to have a little more time to devote to house keeping things now that all the bigger kids are in school, although I tend to just enjoy reading blogs instead.
I keep thinking that when Baby B gets to first grade and is in school all day I will try to find a job at the school so I can still be home when she is, but can earn extra money too. Then I think, maybe I will go to school myself since I never did get a degree... I have to wonder how much of that pressure to get a "real job" is from the worldly view for me.
I'm in the same boat....get a job when all the kids are in school?? Can't say that I really want to, but my husband thinks it may be a good idea. I have a couple more years to think about it. For now, I, too, am enjoying a little freedom for doctor appointments and a little running around while my youngest is in preschool!!!
My sister that has 7 kids, oldest 2 are married with their own and youngest 10 says that your kids need you just as much or more when they are older even out of the house than when they are younger, its needed in a different way. I too love my job and hope I never have to get one that pays money, I love mine!
Yeah, been there. Right now I want to be a stay at home mom and just be by myself. I'd probably only need a couple of days before I got stir crazy, but that would be kind of nice. I would probably get us moved in a lot faster;)
I do love being with my kids. I love being here when they get home and taking them with me.
You go girl!! You do have a job. Professional Mom.
um, not to mention your huge job of RS pres. i think that is a big one to add to the list, don't you think. you are an amazing mother and really shouldn't put guilt on yourself for not having something that pays. besides weren't you thinking of doing something small anyway? i thought you said something like that while we were in oregon..
I think you're awesome and being a mom and wife is definitely the best job!
Even when they are off at school all day there is so much to do--being a stay at home mom is no easy task. They don't just need you when they're home.
You are such a great mom. It is a "real job".
I was so thankful to have my mom there when I came home from school. She did so much as a stay at home mom, and I don't ever take that for granted! Don't ever feel like you are "just" a stay at home mom. It's what many of us are aspiring to be!
I've been going back and forth on the get a job thing. We could always use money, but I am not willing to give up being home when the kids are home during the school year or after school.
Each time I get close to making a job commitment, I get a sick feeling and just can't do it.
My kids need me more now than when they were little. And that is the truth!
Awesome post, Amanda!
I feel like the fun squisher all the time at our house.
Not only is it a real job, it's self employment. One must be excellent in time management, multi-tasking and self-motivation for this job!
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