It has been awhile since I did a Gratitude Tuesday. Suzanne has done better at carrying on the Gratitude Tuesday tradition than me. Nonetheless, I do feel I need to express my gratitude today.
I received an email yesterday from my mother, often the bearer of bad news. She informed me that a family in her ward, a family that I knew well, had just lost one of their daughters to cancer. She was a young wife and mother as well as a daughter and sister. Not just a sister, but a twin sister too. My heart aches for this family and pray that they will be comforted and strengthened at this difficult time.
If that wasn't bad enough, she also informed me of some other bad news a little closer to home. This time involving my sister and her husband and their child they recently adopted and were sealed to in the temple. I won't go into details because of the personal nature, but they definitely have a difficult road ahead of them.
All this bad news, combined with a fast and testimony meeting on Sunday filled with those sharing their gratitude for trials, has got me thinking. Thinking about my life and the many blessings that I enjoy and am grateful for. I have been truly blessed and often feel overwhelmingly unworthy for the life that I am fortunate to live. Not that we are free of problems and struggles and hardships. No one is totally free of that. At this point though our struggles have been minor in comparison to those around us.
I have a dear friend who has many struggles. She struggles with health issues as well as having a non-member husband who is also in the military which means she has to deal with deployments as well as an extremely difficult child with his own set of trials who currently lives with her ex-husband (who is a trial all by himself) in a different state. I admire her strength and her ability to weather so many storms all at the same time. I look at my life, and she would never say this, but I have it easy in comparison. I have watched her grow in her testimony and her ability to trust in the Lord. She has great faith and is a great example to me.
This leads me to the feeling of wondering when the bottom is going to fall out. When is it going to be our turn? I truly believe that trials in our lives are for our good. They are what help us to grow and become stronger and to bring us closer to God. On Sunday while listening to yet another person share how they were grateful for the growth they had received from their trials I began to wonder if I need to go before the Lord and declare that I am ready for whatever he has to throw at me, just help me grow stronger. Sounds crazy I know.
Then I think, well maybe the trials we have had and continue to have are enough. I battle continually with demons or minions within. For me this is a trial, somedays more so than others. Living with me is sometimes a trial for my husband and children. It is not one often seen by those around me. It would be easy for some to look at Amanda and her 'perfect life', when really they have no idea the battle within.
As I was praying last night a scripture came into my mind. In the Book of Mormon the Nephites and the Lamanites are nearly constantly battling each other. In Alma especially we see first hand these battles. We are taught by the great examples of Captain Moroni and his great armies fighting for their families and their freedoms. Captain Moroni is a great example and we can learn much from him. I remember reading this scripture on my mission and the light clicking on and realizing the application in our lives today.
Alma 49:4
4 But behold, how great was their [the Lamanites] disappointment; for behold, the Nephites had dug up a ridge of earth round about them, which was so high that the Lamanites could not cast their stones and their arrows at them that they might take effect...
Again the light clicked last night. Trials are inevitable, struggles are inevitable. No matter how big or how small, it is inevitable. Rather than just waiting around for them to come upon me and possibly do more harm than good, it is my responsibility to build up the barricades that will stop the stones and the arrows from taking effect. I must prepare myself for whatever may be ahead of me.
Before you think that I am a doom and gloom, half empty type of person, I don't usually dwell on this sort of thing. It has just been on my mind lately. Today I am grateful. Grateful for the life which I have been given and which God allows me to live. I am also grateful for those difficult times (even the ones we might not have experienced yet) and for the blessing that they are as well.
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
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18 people have something to say:
I feel the same way too....wondering when a big one is going to drop into my life. It is good to be thankful in the good times and even better in the hard times.
I often feel like you do, my life isn't perfect--we have daily struggles, but I know very well it could be worse. This hit home when a family member was in a horrible car accident 1 1/2 years ago. This person is now paralyzed. It was a wake up call for when I am feeling a little low.
Once a member of a ward I was in said she had been praying to become more humble and all of a sudden her toddler was very sick-she ended up with diabeties. She joked that it wasn't what she had in mind. I will never forget that. And that is what I thought of when you mentioned you wanted to become "stronger".
I don't want to pray for trials. Am I lame for that? They scare me. I'll take what I am going through now and those are enough. I think you are right about building up the barriers. I think I will focus on that, too. :)
Thanks for sharing. Being grateful is something we should be thinking about daily.
Thank you for a well-written and thought provoking post. It's easy to be grateful for the good things in our lives, but not always easy to be grateful for everything. I love your scripture reference. That's exactly what we have to do--fortify ourselves to be ready for wahtever comes and always put our faith and trust in the Lord.
I don't think any of us really know the struggles others face--that's why it's so important that we encourage and support one another.
What a great thought-provoking post. Much better than a Pizza Hut soap opera!
I've had trials, the 2 biggest being the death of my little sister and my divorce. They were both horrible trials, but I know they made me stronger. I am changed because of them. So, I guess in a weird way I am thankful for them.
I will pray for your sister and family.
Wow...what an inspired post. Thank you for your insight and for quoting that scripture. Captain Moroni truly is someone from whom we can learn a great deal, but we as sisters in the Gospel can also learn from one another, as I did from you today.
deanne: I'm glad I'm not the only one that feels that way. :)
lisa: I don't want to pray for trials either. I just don't want to be ready for when they come my way.
yvonne: Thanks! You are so right about loving and supporting eachother. We don't always know the untold story.
tori: I liked your Pizza Hut soap opera post. :) You have been through a lot. It is hard to be grateful for those things that hurt so much!! Thanks for the prayers! :)
thorny tree lady: Thanks! Thanks for stopping by and thanks for your kind comment! :D
:) This is why you are a mulitple award nominated blog.
Buiiding barricades is much more effective that sitting under a tree sipping lemonade.
I have to say that your barricade metaphor gave me chills. Beautiful post!
Trials do make us stronger, better, have more faith, etc. Sometimes we may not realize it while we are going through the trial, but the outcomes are usually for the best-- in some way. Even if it's a death; we may pray harder, live life fuller, do things we wouldn't have done....
One thing that helps me is to know that our Father in Heaven will NEVER give us anything we can not handle. That is a promise.
What a great post! Thanks for sharing the scripture and sharing your light with us. That makes total sense. Sometimes the bottom does fall out from under us... but if we are prepared we can get through it.
Great post, Amanda. I, too, wonder why I am so blessed when I see so much struggle around me. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and that scripture.
Wow, what a fantastic post, Amanda!
You know, I was just thinking about this on Sunday night. Our lives have been so blessed these last 6 months that I just can't help wonder when it will end. I'm not paranoid, but I also know that life is not free from trial sand life just can't go on being this easy forever.
Thanks for your perspective and your wonderful scripture comparison! That's lesson worthy stuff so I'm going to tuck it away for future use! :)
What a great, thoughtful post Amanda.
"This leads me to the feeling of wondering when the bottom is going to fall out. When is it going to be our turn?"
God must know that I am a total sissy. I try to count my blessing every day.
I think showing proper gratitude is one of our shields from the bad of this world. Gratitude means humility, humility means lack of pride. Pride causes a lot of problems for a lot of people.
What an insight! Loved it.
I haven't read the other comments yet. I always just write first, then go back and look. So I am not sure if I am repeating.
Trials are interesting. There are times when I feel like the queen of trials, and other times, when I am keenly aware of others and I am filled with gratitude that I am not experiencing *those* things-
One thing, I've decided is that we all have our own trials. Some seem enormous from the outside looking in. Some are very visible and some are the quiet ones, that lurk in the corners of our minds and hearts. Some, the ward knows about- those obvious ones. Some, are so private, even our closest companions aren't aware of.
I think that sometimes our trials.. are soft- that life is going well, but really we are being challenged in ways, we don't see- I think those are sometimes the hardest ones of all.
Gratitude-and service. I think are always the answers. Isn't that odd? I am often reminded of the phrase, "everything I need to know, I learned in primary!" (I am the worst at remembering that)
I think you have such a lovely spirit.
I loved the pictures in the above post. You can look at the faces of those kids, and know they are loved.
Okay- sorry for the droning on and on.
I'm sorry for the loss and pain for your friends and family.
Peace- for you.
lisa m. -- awesome, well said. amen sister!
amanda -- i love your post you wrote and the insight you shared. i am thinking of the quote, "peace of mind comes from being prepared." i have been thinking of this so much lately. you've got it, you just keep growing and preparing and building up (so that when difficult things do happen, not that you are asking for them, you are better able to deal with them). i heard this a million times, just because we join the church does not mean that we are prevented from having anymore adversities. it just makes it easier to deal with things better ... because we know who we are and WHOSE we are. you are a beautiful spirit and i am so thankful that you are a part of my life. and considering what has been on your mind lately, i am even more touched that you sent me your note about my testimony post the other day. you have the right kind of heart, good and dear, kathleen :)
This was such an amazing post. I was just reading that same verse about a week ago and it stuck out to me too. Thank you for sharing this, it truly was amazing...
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